“Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.” -Proverbs 4:23
In 100 Days to Brave, Downs tells us that God loves to love us. There is nothing, NOTHING that you can do in your life to stop God from loving you. In God’s eyes, “through Jesus, you are holy, chosen, dearly loved.”
God loves us when we are in the deepest pit of our sin and in a place where we feel totally and fully unlovable.
There have been many times in my life where I was in this place — I felt irredeemable.
My anger was overwhelming, my depression was drowning me. The anguish I felt in my heart, was consuming me. I hated the world because I hated myself. The person who I had become inside was Earth Shattering. I wanted to watch the world burn, and in the moments where it was, I laughed. Not because I felt joy, but the irony was too much for me to bear.
It was during this time where I realized how much I enjoyed being out of control. If any of you know me personally, know that I am to my core, a control freak. I like things the way I think they should be, and if one piece becomes misplaced, my whole world turns upside down. Being out of control on purpose was like ecstasy to me.
The sad truth of it is, I became addicted to feeling anything but normal and I would do almost anything to relish in that feeling of euphoria. My life became a constant cycle of feeling everything too much or not enough. While this cycle still exists, how I handle it has changed.
Pain is always going to be a force in life that I have to combat. I can choose to drown in the agony, or I can choose to drown in the love of The Lord. Downs reminds me today, that “Our God, the One who is breathing life into your life, is full of love for you–no matter what.” This reminder is crucial. It is in these moments when we decide where are value lies.
God created you on purpose, for a purpose. He has given us all different strengths and passions to enhance our lives, and use for the betterment of His Kingdom.
Be brave, live boldly. Guard your heart against things and people who cause you pain, and relish in those that bring you joy.