The next hundred days, join me on a journey to discover my most brave self. The book that will be accompanying me on this journey is “100 Days to Brave” by Annie F. Downs. It is a series of devotionals to “unlocking your most courageous self.”

Bravery to me, is a huge part of my journey. The majority of my roadblocks in life have been dominated by fear. My goal with this devotional is to not only grow my relationship with God, but to relinquish the control fear has had over me the past several years of my life.

To be honest, I’m afraid of even starting this journey. I’d rather stay in my safe and comfortable place…but here it goes. I’m jumping.

Day One

The introduction to this devotional meant so much to me. Downs reassured me that I am not alone in how I am feeling.

There is more than this. —More than what? is the first thing I have to stop to ask myself. This. This feeling? This life? This darkness that resides over my heart daily? The answer, is D. All of the above.

As a woman of God, I HAVE to believe that my purpose for life is not to wake up day-to-day feeling dissatisfied in my every day life. That there is more to life than grading for grammar mistakes, and chocolate milkshakes. More to life than the next fad diet, and crying myself to sleep at night. There has to be. How can I as a believer in Christ acknowledge that the same God who created incredible sunsets desires an ordinary life for me? I can’t.

Truth #1 from 100 Days of Brave: “God made me on purpose and for a purpose.”

What this purpose is, is still somewhat unclear to me. Our strengths and passions should not be ignored. I excel in reading and interpreting literature, writing, speaking boldly. I am passionate about reading, writing, adventure. Part of my journey is to discover how I can use these strengths and passions to drive me toward the purpose God intended for me.

Downs explicitly states: “Being brave is organic and spiritual and a unique journey for each person.” My journey to Brave, will never look like yours. There are parts that will be similar, truths that we discover that will coincide. What bravery means to all of us is not the same, so neither are our journeys.

The passage for day one that spoke to me the most is: “Courage is doing things even when you’re scared… Brave people don’t stop hearing the whispers of fear. They hear the whispers but take action anyway.”

One of my greatest fears that has held me back from opportunities of fun, and memories made is swimming in the ocean. A lot of people are afraid of the ocean, but for me…I am afraid of what is swimming around me. The not knowing and not being able to see magnifies my anxiety to a point where I can’t breathe when I am in the water. Just recently, did I conquer this fear. I heard the whispers, I took action anyway.

The moment my feet hit the water, a rush of panic ensued, along with the thoughts that I am not a strong swimmer, I can’t see, and I hate fish (it’s true, I am terrified of fish). I entered the water slowly, breathing in the waves. I allowed myself to taste the salt that sprayed my lips, and allowed my heart to mimic the rhythm of the waves. The water began to crawl up my body with every step forward I took. All the while, praying and telling myself, my God is bigger than all the fish in the sea. My fear of missing out is greater than my fear of the ocean. I did it, even though I was scared.

I know this may seem silly to a lot of you reading this, but for years I wouldn’t even put my feet in the water for fear that something lurking in the mysterious deep blue sea would grab me and never let go.

This one instance in my life is where I can clearly look back to and know that God was guiding me through the waves. I trusted God would be there through my fear, that he would vanquish my doubt, and he did.

“For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” -Isaiah 41:13 NIV